(Above: One of the many places Simon has fallen on his own. His departure should leave an outline on all our hearts.)

SAY IT AIN’T SO

Burgess is on the move, and Madrid can only mourn

It should have been a happy time.

As the final whistle blew this past Sunday, the 30’s squad had notched its first win of the season via a tremendous come from behind over the Ching Coaches. The wining goal scored late in the game off of the foot of the ever so graceful aging Simon Burgess. The irony of this goal is what kills me the most.

For even as we swallowed our pints after the game, and even as we congratulated each other on a wonderful performance, a black cloud hung over us with the news that we now know.

Burgess will be leaving for England in due time.

To leave ……….forever.

It appears his other career, the voice of the gekko for Geico Car Insurance, has exploded into Hollywood fame and he must take his stardom on the road.

(Above : Simons swoony voice has brought him a lot of popularity)

The shockwaves this sent through the changeroom and the utter look of sadness crossing the faces of our lads is unexplainable at best. Burgess is a godfather of this squad. He is one of the originals, and to be so bold to say he is one of the factors that make up the heart and soul of this squad is an understatement.

His play may be quirky at times, but the end result is always there somehow. He scores goals, he motivates, and he plays hard. ( not as hard as Newman, but harder then most of this lot.) now I know his ratio of play between actual playing time on the field and time spent on the ground is a little askew, but this is what makes him the Simon we love so dearly. His is odd in a cute way.

As one of the youngsters of this squad ( the whopping 31 I may be), it is because of guys like this that I enjoy this game and the time I spend with this squad because he makes it enjoyable. His humour and positive outlook rub off on the new lads and put us at ease. The way he softly towel dries you after a shower is fatherly at the least. He looks out for you and your interests, always lending an ear and sound advice. And for those of you who had the pleasure of him fiddling with your  laps…ummm…I mean laptops or computers, then you should consider yourselves blessed.

I will now admit to the world here in black and white, that Mr. Burgess did indeed beat me fair and square for the hand of Jane. He outwitted, outplayed, and outlasted me in the challenge and I did indeed lose to the better man. His debonair James Bondish traits are something that no girl will be able to resist. (As Paul found out for himself one late night after everyone had left the changeroom… )

Simon has scored plenty of goals over his career, and I have had the pleasure of being there the past six years to see them for myself with my own eyes. Deft chips over keepers, blazing shots into corners of nets, and clumps of grass forming like foam around his mouth after yet another encounter with the turf. An indoor sideways bicycle kick stands out in my mind. And the go ahead goal against Sparkleen where we came back to win 5-2 after being down by 2 early, scoring as he fell to the ground tripping over something yet imaginary again. Warrens shout still echoes in my mind as he turned to the ref and yelled “ did you see that white line jump up and grab him?”

(Above: First Roy, now Simon….who’s next? How love is cruel and painful at times.)

I still am trying to get over the fact that Roy is gone, and just as I thought I was starting to get my life in order and back to normal this news shall set me back yet once again. He says he will return to visit, but like Roy who we have only seen once since his departure ( and may I say the best Christmas gift ever when he did show up),  the distance between Simon and this team will take its toll.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I raise a glass to Mr. Burgess.

I say thank you for all you have done for this squad, all you have done for your friends, and the best wishes on all your endeavours. You will surely be missed by all, but your legend will never die.

To the rest of you lot…………….if this isn’t a damn good reason to go out and win that Soccer City Cup, take the g0ddamn division title, and win it all , then I don’t know what other motivation you fat bastards need.

Do it for Simon.

 Simon Burgess ………a man amongst boys.

Editors note:

With all bad news, there is some good out of all of this. For example, this means I will have one less drunkard ogling my dream girl Nadia at the bar at SoccerCity.

Below: One down one to go…….. with Simon gone, only this Casanova remains to be eliminated…