RAMFC Meets ..............

Mr. Blatter and I sat down at the Real Ale Madrid clubhouse recently during his brief stop in Canada.

Paul G: "Mr. Blatter it is indeed a huge pleasure to welcome you to our club. Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule of bribes and kick backs"

Sepp Blatter: "My pleasure Paul...what?"

PG: "I'm sorry. Where are my manners. Please help yourself to that large wad of cash just sitting there next to the butler."

SB: "Thank you Paul."

PG: "Now Sepp. I may call you Sepp?"

SB: "Of course Paul. Sepp is fine."

PG: "Thank you Shepp."

SB: "Sepp."

PG: "Sorry?"

SB: You said Shepp. It's Sepp. No H."

PG: "Ahh. Right. Well Sepp. You are arguably the most powerful man in world sports. With the exception perhaps of our editor-in-chief Simon Burgess. How does one come to grips with such power?"

SB: "Well, Paul FIFA is a family and as a family we work as a democratic force for the good of the beautiful game. Why in 2001 we-"

PG: "Sorry to interrupt you Sepp but I must insist that you remove that candelabra from your briefcase and place it back on the grand piano. Warren needs it when he sings "3 Coins In A Fountain" for the lads after cocktails."

SB: "I am sorry. I am so used to just taking what I want wherever I go. Did you say 3 coins in a fountain? And where can I find this fountain?"

PG: "Sorry Sepp it's just a song. Now you are Swiss. A country most famous for cuckoo clocks, chocolate and banking. Becoming an all powerful sports figure is not usually associated with the Swiss mentality. What did your parents do to instill such drive in you?"

SB: "Well my mother made chocolate covered cuckoo clocks and my father was a merchant banker."

PG: "Ahh. Well that explains the almost palatable boredom that wafts from you. Now FIFA was recently criticized for it's rather inactive roll in not speaking out against Jewish persecution in WWII. How do you react to that?"

SB: "Well Paul I think you may be confusing FIFA with the Catholic Church. I spoke to the Pope recently actually and he did express his regrets at some of the actions of his predecessors."

PG: "Did he drool on you?"

SB: "No of course not!"

PG: "Well he drooled on our senior reporter Martin. Even dry cleaning couldn't get that stuff out of Martin's suit. One thing though, Sepp. How do explain that full sized Polish Synagogue in your parents backyard?"

SB: "Err, well I have no comment on that."

PG: "Well Sepp, what do you think of the club?"

SB: "Well Paul it is most impressive. I wonder at the ability of an amateur football club to afford such a lavish penthouse."

PG: "Sepp I was not talking about our club. I was talking about the golf one in my hand. Here have a taste."

SB: "OWWWWWWOOGHHHHH!!! That hurts! Why did you do that??"

PG: "I told you to keep your grubby chocolate covered mitts off the candelabra. Now get out. Now!"

SB: "OK! Just don't hit me again!"

PG: "Sepp Blatter? Thank you and good night."