Mark
born: 1992
height: about the
length of a flute.
weight:
Jay
position: winger /
full back / resting
hobbies: trombone, the
pipes, pies.
likes: the music of the Third Reich,
Catholic Liturgy
dislikes: paying his
brothers debts, flossing, beer.
favourite football moment: telling a ref
to do an act so physically
impossible that Investigative Reports was called
in.
least favourite football
moment: Jay
best sex: With the
sound of the pipe and drum.
favourite film:
JFK
favourite book: The Dame Edna
Story
career: spit valve cleaner - Brampton
Memorial Band.
say something about
yourself: "toot toot"
Cardinal Richelieu
born: 1585
height: 4ft 6in tall
for a French git.
weight: without
vestements: 78lbs, with vestements: 698lbs
position: Corrupt
Church left winger
hobbies: beheading
Muskateers, juggling chainsaws, collecting Elvis
memorabilia.
likes: Sunday mornings off, pastry, sex
with choirboys
dislikes: men, orange,
Thomas J.
favourite football moment: beating the
king at Subbutteo
least favourite football
moment: France winning World Cup without his
influence.
best sex: never
admitted.
favourite film: Emanuelle
VII
favourite book: the
illustrated Victoria Secret Catalogue.
career: Cardinal of
France, Defender Of Her Faith and boilermaker.
say something about
yourself: "Je suis un tres bein merde French
Git"
Ahmed
born: Sahara Desert
height: as far as a
camel can spit.
weight: 135lbs
position: lazy
bastard.
hobbies: giving the
ball away, chewing his toenails, male bonding.
likes: sand, influential people,
biscuits dipped in olive oil.
dislikes: football,
wiping his bottom, alcohol.
favourite football moment: hardly
trying.
least favourite football
moment: signing with this team
best sex: errr...baaaaaa
favourite film: Lawerence Of
Arabia
favourite book: King James
version of the Koran
career: scullary
maid.
say something about
yourself: " who, me?, mark him?"
Louis
born: last week
height: 12 inches fully
engorged.
weight: depends on
loss of blood to head due to engorgment.
position: shower boy /
forward.
hobbies: nude
modeling, dressing like a black gansta rappa
likes: pictures of himself, The
collective works of Robert Blake.
dislikes: homosexuals
staring at his goodies, having to dress/undress with team,
reading.
favourite football moment:
scoring winner in overtime in Championship final
last session.
least favourite football
moment: Ian G leering at his
tackle.
best sex: you have to
ask this man that?
favourite film: Long Dong
Silver Goes Shopping.
favourite book: The Condensed
Version Of Descartes
career:
Chippendales.
say something about
yourself: "Please don't hate me because I'm
beautiful"
