Aubrey (old Father Time) Taylor (still playing too)
born: before records of time were kept.
height: a little above average for a scouser
weight: all in his accent
position: full back with a penchant for spectacular own goals. 
hobbies: nicking car radios, writing huge cheques to himself, writing obscene words in children's library books. 
likes: Tranmere Rovers, rooting out all evil, looking at things. 
dislikes: his teammates, the colour blue, frogs. 
favourite football moment: scoring an absolute screamer into his own net. 
least favourite football moment: His teammates taking the piss about it for the last 6 years. 
best sex: better not to think about it. 
favourite film: Yosser Hughes goes to College.
favourite book: The Pete Best Story
career: pastry chef.
say something about yourself: "Never offside referee! F***ing 'ell!"

Warren Parkes
born: one would assume, but you never know.
height: 7ft 5in
weight: dependent on which fast-food he is devouring.
position: centre back/ centre forward/ goal/ toilet.
hobbies: crunching debtors over the head with a pipe wrench, eating Baskin Robbins, clean clothes.
likes: His kids, his 16ft industrial toilet snake.
dislikes: women from Liverpool, cleanliness, regular sleep.
favourite football moment: throwing up on the bench.
least favourite football moment: having to beat up an opposition player for "disrespect"
best sex: about 10 years ago
favourite film: don't know, fell asleep.
favourite book: 1899 Plumbing Hints.
career: food inspector at ice cream store.
say something about yourself: "show us your t***s"