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WEDNESDAY JANUARY 25th 2011

Hello, good evening and welcome. I hope you all had a lovely Chrimbo and the New Year has started well and continues to do so until next Christmas. And for those interested only 326 shopping days to go. Until next Christmas. In case you were wondering. But I digress. And its been a while since I did that. No wait thats digest. Anyhoo, enough of this babbling bollocks, hmmmm, am I using too much grammar,? Not sure .. wait, I got distended again, nope, not distended Simon, you silly sausage. You mean distracted. Wasn't that one of your New Years resolutions? To not get distended. I mean distracted. It could have been you know. I cant recall. Anyway where was I. Last week .. about tea time. I was at work or in bed. But what about the football, you cry. Well I went back to England for my Christmas holidays and it was very nice. I got a jumper for Christmas. But its got all bobbly now. I probably wont wear it again. Unless I do some painting and its cold. Hey, is this like one of those blog things? Football? What about it? Oh, the team news. Well why didn't you say.

Indoor first session has wrapped up and with a few last gasp good results we made it into the play offs against Gangz. I dont remember how we did apart from the fact we didnt win. Or draw. So ergo, we lost. Yes, I remember now. We lost. 2 - 1 I think. Or 6 - 3. I dunno. Anyhow, the BIG news is that the O30's league is done so we applied to play in the English Premier League. That was rejected so 2nd choice was the Thursday 2nd Division at Soccer City. Admittedly the quality of football is lower but this is countered by the fact that we dont have to travel as far for away games. And the bar is closer. First game of the new session is tomorrow, Thursday 26th January. 10pm kick off.

Other news. The planning is at full tilt for the weekday outdoor team. We have elected to move away from the bowling green surfaces of Soccer City in summer and try our hand in the European Championships being held in the Ukraine and Poland. The whisper is that this too may be rejected as we are not an actual European country. We countered with the argument that Warren's arse is the size of a planet, never mind a country. Uranus. Ha Ha. You can have that one. But seriously, we dont qualify as a country so 2nd choice was the TSSL. See The Gaffer's latest meeemo below as I cant be arsed typing out the details.

Remember, 10pm tomorrow, not 7pm as per my original email. Please remember to bring your league fee.

Midweek outdoor. I am about to send in our team application for the TSSL. I will be requesting that we play on Tuesday nights either at Eglington Flats or Etobicoke Centennial Park at 7pm. With G. Ross Lord as a 3rd choice if needed (we need fields with nets and flags at the very least as we don't have our own) I cannot guarantee we will get those days and times of course. I have also asked that we be placed in the 4th division. I skipped over 35's as we have a few chaps under 35 in the squad (Alex, Stan, Richard, me) and we may be more successful in recruiting some younger chaps if needed.

I hope the change of scenery will convince a few of you who skipped soccer city due to the fields and some of the teams we played to re-consider and re-join us midweek. No questions will be asked of course about your prolonged absence.

Costs involved will be worked out, but word from the league is they will be CHEAPER than their 2011 fees. Fancy that.

More details as I get them.

See you indoor chappies (and Lynn) tomorrow night. 10pm. $130 each.

cheers

Other Other news. The annual City of Brampton Curling Bon spiel and Liver Abuse Event is scheduled for March 17th. We have 2 teams outside of Mr Ian Newman and Mrs Jack McnultyNewman's teams. Let your local social committee representative know if you are interested in being on one of the teams. There are no more spots so you wont be able to play but it will be funny seeing the look on your face when you get the news your not in.

So long suckers.

PS I just found The Gaffer's match report for the play off loss.

Real Ale Madrid 2, Gangz 7
Jack 1
Ian 1

(the thought of creating a bogus report for Ritchie and Ahmed where we won 6-5 in OT did cross our minds last night but doing that and mentioning we were in the final next week at 11.30pm was deemed a little cruel)

A grand effort last night was all for naught. For the first 15 minutes we ran our whatsits off (Lynn has no whatsits, but that did not stop her) and took a shock 1-0 lead. Alas, we could not hold it for long and Gangz overwhelmed us in the end. So another indoor session ends with a woefully short match report. However, we now bring you the ratings of each player last night.

Aaron. 8/10. Making a rare start he held stood on his head in the first half. Probably would have been better to stay on his feet, but who am I to quibble on his technique?
Szooomer. 9/10. A battling display and showed a deft touch in demolishing Lynn's Blackberry.
Dave 8/10. Pushed forward a lot allowing for a lot of shouting.
Mal. 8/10. A fitter slimmer Mal? Possibly. Up and down the pitch all night, sometimes during the game.
Rennie 8/10. Got stuck in. The mud in the parking lot that is.
Simon 8/10. Midfield general or wannabe sweeper? Hard to tell sometimes.
Ian 9/10. Dynamo. He has one. Keeps in on a shelf by the bed and plays with it when Wendy is in India.
Jack 8/10. Still trying all he moves at his age. Alas, Annetta is blind to his charms.
Alex 8/10. Looked knackered. But then again, has nice hair.
Lynn 8/10. Suffering I-phone and blackberry remorse, it showed and she was outrun by their left wing triffid.
Moi. 8/10. Leg still a pain. Could not track back with any gusto but still able to pose majestically and v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-l-y on the ball.

So we get at least a two week break. There was talk of leaving soccer city for elsewhere for the second session, but I for one am against that. Soccer City is like an old shoe. Comfortable, a little worn out, but still a nice chew toy for the dog or mother-in-law.

 

SUNDAY DECEMBER 18th 2011

Well not a good footballing week. Dissension in the ranks after a truly awful performance against Gangz. We were very very poor and the finger pointing and slagging off after the game was even more disappointing to say the least. I think some of the team are forgetting we are all about a laugh, a game and a beer, not about winning trophy's. Anyway we got gubbed 8 - 0 and although we doff our collective caps to Mr G for strapping on the gloves in Aaron's absence, we did cough up some very poor goals. Enough of that though. In a more positive vein, the 846th Annual Christmas do was held at the Clock n Hen Friday night. Now this was moved forward from the traditional 24th evening so I could enjoy a few scoops with the team before my annual migration to the old country . A great turn out, a lot of laughs and beverage and a good night had by all. And I will now deviate from the traditional weekly word from the Gaffer as he seems to be hitting the Meths/Mr Sheen drinks cabinet again and wrote a truly 'Little Britain'esque skit around a certain player and their Mum's bitty. It was deeply disturbing although the balance of the team thought it was hilarious. Mr Newman and Mr Sharda, I am looking at you two.

So all that remains is for me to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. For the team, our next game is against Barcelona, a team we beat last time as they have an average age of about 55 as well as the same in waist measurement and weight in tons. 10.45pm so let the Gaffer know if you cant make.

Felice Navidad.